Rob Gordon is where I was three years ago:

"I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments..."

Everyone said so at the time. And, although no one but me really seems to be aware of it, Barry Egan is where I am headed today:

"Sometimes I cry for no reason..."

Not so much of a progression, I'm afraid. The damage is apparent, but I can't discern the source.
posted by Deric at 7:46 PM

Reading Donald Barthelme's 60 Stories (in lieu of doing schoolwork) and listening (yes, just this very minute) to the re-released Slanted And Enchanted. Noticing similarities in the slack physiognomy of confusion on display. The feeling that there's something that is escaping my notice (or my ability to comprehend it). Absurdity/obfuscation/ambiguity for its own sake? This would make me feel comfortable, less stunningly dense. I expect to have difficulty w/certain works. This is all good and fine. Why, though, do I feel in these two instances that the point (even if it's the point that there is no point) is completely and utterly eluding me? What arena am I so terribly unschooled in that I seem to have no starting point here? I enjoy the play of words but am left feeling not unlike a spoon-scraped melon shell. Noise when lost in the translation. Unfortunate, that.
posted by Deric at 8:00 PM

Right. I'm going to start this mess up again. Old moriarty from The 'Lith is keeping his arse in gear w/a lovely little comics-based blog over here. He thought enough of my opinion to solicit it in regards to the blog in question and, heck, I figure that if my opinion matters to one person, why, there might just be another person or two out there who give a shit what I have to say!... Just a thought, anyway...

So my original impetus was to get on here and whine again about it being so lonesome at this school where no one will talk to me...but who wants to read that nonsense? Not I, and it's even my life.

Enjoying the all-new, "all-Rall" (or so it seems) edition of The Comics Journal. Between reading the articles about him, his interview, and his contributions to the TCJ message board, I feel more empathetic towards Ted Rall, but I ultimately have to lament his tendency to alienate, through his coarseness, those who might otherwise side up w/him ideologically. I make no pretense towards political astuteness, but the points and problems that he brings up in his interview seem perfectly valid to me, for the most part. When given the chance to elucidate his beliefs at length, Rall is the very model of clarity. It would seem, then, that four-panel cartoons are not his forte (to say absolutely nothing of his artistic skill...).
posted by Deric at 7:18 PM

Erg. It's happening again. All of that stupid insecure nonsense. Feeling invisible or the focus of negative energy. Feeling alienated at all times. I just want to see a friendly face. I want to be wrong about people wanting to do me in. What do I do to feel right already?
posted by Deric at 7:31 PM

School in a week. Zine due before that. Party immediately after work ends on friday. A series of milestones set up as ramps for the inevitable launch into the new.
posted by Deric at 4:24 PM

And it turns out that I won't have to work during the school year. This doth rock. Of course, a lot of it's money that I'll have to pay back later...but that's something to worry about later.

Ummm...so the new guy at work that I thought was kinda cool is the guy who robbed TD's. I'm torn. I don't dislike him, but I definitely don't trust him.
posted by Deric at 2:57 PM

Packing and readying to move...or what I should be doing anyway. I am officially IU material...woo hoo! And financial aid is forthcoming. Not as much as I'd hoped, but enough to pay for school and the new house.
posted by Deric at 8:04 PM