I was going through my wallet (as I so rarely do) and I came across a stack of old phone numbers. Numbers of people that I'm no longer in touch with (for whatever reason), mostly. It was like a brief reverse chronological tale of failed relationship after failed relationship.
posted by Deric at 8:45 PM

I worked on some collaborative art with William last night (my Fourth of July festivities) and the night before. On the basis of the talk that we had the other night (wherein he expressed concerns similar to those that I'm trying to address in TVITL) and our willingness and ability to work together in artistic pursuits, I asked if he wanted to partner with me on the zine. And he agreed. It's pretty much a done deal at this point, but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a huge mistake. It doesn't have anything to do with William personally. I've wanted to work with him on something for a while now. It's just that I'm not so sure that I should have handed over half of the reins on this particular project, since it's become such a personal thing. So...is this a valid concern or is it just my control-freakishness rearing its knobbed and misshapen head? I want my zine to be what I want it to be, but is it necessarily going to become something else just because someone else is involved? And is it necessarily a bad thing if it does become something else?
posted by Deric at 5:32 PM

William came over. Nice talk about things discussed in zine.
posted by Deric at 11:13 AM

I feel like I need to stop constantly posting stuff about my life here because I seem to have no life anymore. I swear. I don't know who's going to read this or whether anyone even should read it. My life bores me most of the time, so it's really tough for me to imagine sometimes that anyone else would get anything of worth out of the tedium that is my day-to-day existence.

I guess part of the reason for the existence of these blogs is to record one's own existence (such as it may be), as an act of justification, a way of saying, "Here I am. My life may be small in comparison to the howling void of the universe, but it means something to me." Actively trying to get others to pay attention to you seems a little sad, so maybe the best that you can do is present yourself and hope that someone else is paying attention.
posted by Deric at 3:52 PM

Tired. Hot. Hungry. Start of weekend. No money. Argh.
posted by Deric at 3:44 PM

Back for more of the goofy nonsense. Here are some exerpts of the eulogy that my old-timey buddies read for me at the Elk's Club, on the night of my funeral (again, all results taken directly (w/some slight editing) from a Google search):

"Deric was born in 1964 in Kazan, the capital of Tatarstan, and a city of elves so large that it actually dwarfed Windor at the peak of its population. Of all people, who asked to be Deric? Deric was superb in portraying the various stages of the Emperor's development, from precocious teenager to a wise, compassionate ruler. Deric was the quarterback of the Cooper team that started that streak in 1992. Deric was chosen to be the first seat saxophone in the All State Jazz Band in 1994. Deric was often hampered by the style and methods set down by his recording company, but Deric was disarmingly charming and calm, despite the rising temperature in the studio. A broadcasting camera was wheeled down the aisle and for the next thirty minutes I half listened to speeches about how good Deric was.

Deric was missing, as was Chester. Deric was the only one who came back with a gain in winnings, however a fun time was had by all who attended. Deric was there for it all and filed this report: The crowd was full with Juggalos. Deric was not going to touch that sour subject with a six foot pole.

Deric was totally giving Jordan's body a workout of anxiety, sex thoughts, unpleasantness, sex thoughts, stress, lesbian sex thoughts and so forth. Deric was confused as to what he meant, but did not have much chance to think about it. Deric was able to shake off his dizziness and found himself staring at his (Jordan's) chest.

Deric was once upon a time a designer of ladies lingerie! Deric was repaired and Shauna decided not to have her husband repaired. Deric was nothing if not panicked. Deric was no different, having never seen such a difficult season for so many.

When Deric was 43, he married Emma. Deric was standing beside her, his own pack slung over one shoulder. The protective order said Deric was to "refrain from any direct or indirect contact'' with her. Deric was a bit put off that Sym could find such a scene interesting enough to postpone a conversation about his books.

Deric was played by Jim Broadbent."
posted by Deric at 3:39 PM